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 Post subject: Lower avg team member
 Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 11:43 pm Post Number: #1 Post
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We are just finishing our regional trials, one lady bowler will make the team, but as she has the lowest average she does not feel she is good enough. How do we get her to feel part of the team, we dont care about her lower avg, i personally feel glad she wanted to have a go and be with us, we all get on well and know we will not win the comp. But people with the lower avg feel as if they are there to make up the numbers, i just want to find the right words to let her know she is a valued team member and we are counting on her to do her best as we all are, but if she does not bowl well it does'nt really matter, at the end of the day its a game we all enjoy and want to have fun and enjoy ourselves with our team mates. So if others have been in this situation and have a way to make others feel good about being in the team without worrying about avg/scores. (she could also bowl badly an still win points)

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 Post subject: Re: Lower avg team member
 Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 6:10 pm Post Number: #2 Post
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I think this is a great question, and one that we regularly encounter bringing in lower average bowlers into a higher average (and successful) team.

Our goal is always to have a great time and be competitive. Obviously, nobody likes to lose, but winning is at best a 3rd or 4th consideration. It will happen if the dynamic is good, and you trust one another. You have to do more than say it, you have to embrace it and model it.

It definitely helps to focus on the process, and not the result. Every shot gets encouragement and positive attitude. Don't let teammates (or yourself) get sucked into negativity. Always look forward to what you have left in front of you, not the last spare you missed. Embrace the grind out. Hit the head pin and make your spares.

Create a relaxed environment. Watch for phrases that can create stress and tension. Don't say "Come on, we need a mark!". Instead, say "Take your time, stay relaxed. Make a good shot."

We do little or no "coaching" while we're competing, although there are times when a "naive question" or a little feedback can help get/keep somebody on track. "That release looked great, why do you think the ball went high?" "Great shot! You really posted that one."

The lower average teammates feel like they need to compete at your level, so reassure them that we're all just trying to make good, consistent shots. That is what you can control. The results will sometimes be inconsistent, but it will even out and improve over time. That consistency will be rewarded with wins.

Steve

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 Post subject: Re: Lower avg team member
 Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 6:35 pm Post Number: #3 Post
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Create a relaxed environment. Watch for phrases that can create stress and tension. Don't say "Come on, we need a mark!". Instead, say "Take your time, stay relaxed. Make a good shot."

stevespo, your comment above says alot, the team mates putting pressure on the bowler makes it worse for them, i will bring this up in our coaching session.
Will be interesting how she copes during the comp, and the how the others cope if she does not bowl well.

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 Post subject: Re: Lower avg team member
 Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 7:38 am Post Number: #4 Post
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I’d just explain to her exactly what you said in your post, that it doesn’t matter how you do as long as you guys have fun. Plus I’ve always found bowling in tournament and people around you who are better only makes you better and the amount of knowledge you can learn to improve is greater than if you were to bowl with someone on your level.


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 Post subject: Re: Lower avg team member
 Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 7:37 am Post Number: #5 Post
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To make the person feel welcome, I usually reach out and extend my hand or do a fist bump thing depending on how well their shot was when I see them no matter if it was a double gutter. Never making any bad comments and saying good things. I am not sure how good your team is or how good the person is. I bowl with people that a lot bowl sub 100s like tonight. I even offered the guy that subbed tonight that used to be on the team last year my spot for the rest of the year to let me take the year off and try to rest my wrist. I am the one usually feeling bad when we loose. For the first time this year, I didn't feel pain in my wrist. The night before it was real bad so I am confused about that. My series was twice as high as the others but no one looked like they were out of place(even with 4 splits and a missed 7).

I might understand if this is a scratch league and she doesn't bowl as good. For a handicap league the numbers even out but a scratch league I have no idea what to tell you on that. To turn things around, when I had a hurt shoulder and had to change hands, I had the lowest average on the team. I think I started out with an 80 average or something and everyone else had a 143 or higher. As long as I got close to my average, I didn't feel out of place because it didn't hurt the team. If it is handicap team and if she does good then you can show her, her score plus the handicap is better then the other guys bowling on the other team if it is. I don't know what to say.

In a handicap league, I think it is more stress on the high average people then the lower average people. When have you seen a low average bowler bowl a 40 with a 100 average? I haven't ever. How many times have you seen someone with a high average bowl 60 pins under their average? I have seen this a lot of times and did it. I think I shot 138 or something with 4 splits and a missed spare in 1 game with no doubles. There is massive stress on someone with a low average in a scratch league and doubt if there is anything you can do to help that. The only thing is if it is capped or something. I have never done a scratch league and they never had that here ever.

Sorry about the long post, I haven't paid attention to the forum because I have been hurt the entire year. I am still trying to take a few months off to heal. I don't want to get back into learning etc and then can't practice or nothing because it is too depressing.


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 Post subject: Re: Lower avg team member
 Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2017 11:17 am Post Number: #6 Post
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ballspoint wrote:
We are just finishing our regional trials, one lady bowler will make the team, but as she has the lowest average she does not feel she is good enough. How do we get her to feel part of the team, we dont care about her lower avg, i personally feel glad she wanted to have a go and be with us, we all get on well and know we will not win the comp. But people with the lower avg feel as if they are there to make up the numbers, i just want to find the right words to let her know she is a valued team member and we are counting on her to do her best as we all are, but if she does not bowl well it does'nt really matter, at the end of the day its a game we all enjoy and want to have fun and enjoy ourselves with our team mates. So if others have been in this situation and have a way to make others feel good about being in the team without worrying about avg/scores. (she could also bowl badly an still win points)


The truth some time hurts too. Ironically, if no one counts on me, I may feel useless. Self-blaming could make one feel less guilty psychologically. That's why kind words from teammates may have no effect at all (but positive response is still fundamental). I have been through this situation, being the lowest average guy in my team and just wanted to hid away if I was the factor of not winning. I still have this feeling every now and then even I am the highest average guy in the team now but understand it's normal if one bowls long enough.

If you team objective is to have fun and not really care about winning, then bring in some distraction; play little team games to keep members excited:-

beer frame - e.g. lady needs a 8 or 9 spare but gents need strike. At least 3 strikes or spare for lady (5-person team) to make 1 beer frame .Those who can't make it in a beer frame has to donate half a dollar
jackpot - e.g. award a dollar for game above average but fine 1 if below.

The amount does not matter. With these little games, she may have something to pursue and achieve every game. At the end of the season, if there is surplus, use it to fund team lunch/dinner.

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 Post subject: Re: Lower avg team member
 Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2017 6:22 pm Post Number: #7 Post
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The truth some time hurts too. Ironically, if no one counts on me, I may feel useless.
but if she does not bowl well it does'nt really matter,


Thanks Ads, your line about no one counts on me, is a important one to remember too, she hasnt made the team just to make up the numbers, and we dont want that type of thinking in our team, so we well have to make sure we all treated equally. The comp is in April next year, running for 3 days, so we have alot of time for the mental side and coaching to improve as all. She has alot going for her, hand behind the ball, balance arm thumb down, ok ball speed, just ball direction and handling game pressure. Thanks

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